Liposuction for a Better World
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| Fat from liposuction can be manufactured into biodiesel. Sadly, this woman selfishly wasted her fuel. |
A New Zealand man’s recent epiphany may change the world. Through liposuction, we can turn fat asses into biodiesel fuel. He plans to publicize this concept by jetting around the world on a boat powered by human blubber. Once the idea catches on (which it will), you should be able to skip the gas station and head straight to your local plastic surgeon for fuel.
A large liposuction operation involves removing 10 pounds of fat, which would drive a car about 50 miles once converted.
5 miles per pound of fat! With 64% of Americans now overweight, things are really looking up for this country. Just look at all the problems mandatory liposuction could solve (in order of importance):
- Americans wouldn’t be so ugly.
- That fat fuck Dr. Phil couldn’t sell any more diet books.
- Big Oil would finally have some competition.
- We would reduce our dependence on foreign oil.
- Human biodiesel would foster a cleaner environment.
- Health care costs would plummet due to all the fat loss.
